Friday 26 November 2010

ALAN MCGEE TO ADD AUTHENTICITY TO SCREAMADELICA ANNIVERSARY TOUR BY SWALLOWING A GOB-FULL OF E AND WANDERING ABOUT BACKSTAGE TALKING ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS

As if it wasn’t embarrassing enough already to tour off the back of a twenty year old album because recent material has been uninspired bargain-bin fodder with lyrics like “I‘m the garbage man/I’m the garbage man/Sticky fingers in your trashcan/I’m the garbage man”, now Bobby Gillespie (Mick Jagger for the rave generation) has decided to take his midlife crisis to a new low. Primal Scream’s 2010/11 tour sees the band playing their 1991 album Screamadelica in full, even though the record sounds rather dated these days and it was all producer Andrew Weatherall’s work in the first place. To relive his hedonistic, carefree youth, and to “add authenticity” to the tour, Bobby Gillespie (The Aldi Mick Jagger) has hired ex-Creation Records boss Alan McGee to be present backstage on every date of the tour, during which he will be required to consume a minimum of seven ecstasy pills per night with which to inspire his characteristic horseshit pronouncements such as “yir witnessing the future o’ music” and “ah bet yirs tae thousand poonds the nex' Heavy Stereo record is ga’in triple pla’inum, aye.”

The ‘Scream, as they are known by people who also still listen to Oasis and Shed Seven, are to reissue Screamadelica on March 7 next year, as a special collector’s edition boxset which will include 2 double LPs, 8 CDs, 27 ‘making of’ DVDs, a limited edition print of Bobby Gillespie (Mick Jagger for the deaf and the stupid), a postcard collection, two glossy posters, a t-shirt, a butcher, a baker, and a candlestick maker. The set is to be remastered by Kevin Shields and will thus fortunately never see the light of day.

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