Thursday, 17 April 2014



After pledging their “strongest commitment to the arts we’ve made in a generation”, the BBC has announced that it is to relaunch its faintly alternative digital radio station 6 Music under the exciting new name ‘Elbow FM’.

Henceforth, the majority of the channel’s airtime will be taken up by Elbow frontman Guy Garvey playing his favourite records, his friends’ favourite records and his favourite records made by his friends, interspersed with banal anecdotes about how many of his musical heroes he’s met, seen in concert, collaborated with, or befriended. In the scant moments when Garvey is not DJing, the station’s few remaining presenters will spin their own favourite Elbow tracks, encourage listeners to phone in with ‘unforgettable Elbow memories’, and narrate in-depth documentaries about the band Elbow. So pretty much the same as it is now.

Speaking about the announcement, the humble Northern everyman Garvey said, “I remember I was in a Los Angeles deli with Laura Marling when I heard the news. She was finishing her blackberry pancakes and I had just ordered my signature cocktail. It’s called Grounds For Divorce Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah. I’d like to thank the BBC for all the support they’ve given to Elbow, Elbow’s friends, and all the other groups out there who sound exactly like Elbow. Anyway, I’ve got to go now, I’m meeting Badly Drawn Boy for an sneaky ale and then I have to interview Bob Dylan about his all-time top five Elbow albums.”